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Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Why I had children

I remember a friend having a baby when we were about 16. I remember holding him (badly) as she shrieked and he chain-smoked (or maybe the other way round) and thinking "Rather you than me love"...

A few years later I found my Prince Charming. Proper big grown up love stuff. The kind people sing about. Suddenly it was not enough to just be with him, I needed to imprint him on me (not in a weird Twilight way for all you fans out there) I began to physically ache inside with an insatiable need to entwine mine and thine.

I started to imagine a mini version of my man. Cue looking at old baby photos of him, digging out his old hand knitted romper suits and secretly reading Zita West's guide to fertility.

The husband was a bit less keen (surprise surprise) he talked of mortgages and savings and not rushing. My ache grew, my pleading too and finally my pill ceased.

Five weeks later a girl I worked with announced she was pregnant. My jealousy was so raw I wanted to deface her 12 week scan photo.

Luckily there was no need. Sudden sore boobs***, a secret hope and three pregnancy tests later, I had my own scan photo awaiting me.

Four years and three daughters later, a mini-man is still just an image in my mind, but the experience of creating life with my best friend is as real and as magical as I could ever have wished for.

***On this, how did you know, or guess you might be pregnant?


  1. Loved this piece! As always you add humor and depth-your posts are great! I found out I was pregnant because I threw up on xmas day...not quite so nicely put as your piece but it's true! I then went on to do about 12 pregnancy tests (no joke) and it finally sunk in! x

  2. This made me smile :)
    Though my little one wasn't planned, i just knew i was pregnant, even though i had several negative tests. It still took ages to sink in!