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Thursday, 12 July 2012

My mummy tummy hell

I am a mum of three. Three big babies, born within three and a half years of one another.
Some may say I deserved what I got.
This is what I got...


This is me. This is who I am. This is the mummy secret I carry round, hidden in big pants and long vests and baggy jumpers, even in sunny weather. Especially in sunny weather.

I'd love to tell you I am proud of my body for producing my healthy babies, that my scars remind me what a good house my tummy made.
I wish I could say I am far too busy enjoying being a mum to care about trivial things, such as my appearance.

But it would not be true.
I hate my tummy. I hide it from people at the gym when I get changed. I hide it from my husband by sleeping in his baggy t-shirts. I hide it from my children in over-bubbly baths.
But I can't hide it from me.
The only thing I hate more than my tummy is myself, for hating my tummy. I wish I were a bigger person. I wish I were a less vain person. I wish I were a better role model to my children.

How is my loathing of my appearance affecting them? I try to hide it, but my tummy is the wrinkly grey elephant in the room (literally).
I want my daughters to love themselves. But I can't lead by example.
The doctor has assured me I did nothing wrong. Genetics and hormones are to blame. My husband says he does not care. More of me to love.
But I don't love me, and as long as my tummy looks like it does in the above picture. I don't think I ever will.

4 comments:

  1. You are a much braver woman then me, it must have taken some guts to post this.
    I only have 1 baby but my stomach was totally ruined from pregnancy with a big bump, i have very severe stretchmarks and an overhang and i hate it. Now i am pregnant again my stomach is getting big again and the stretchmarks have started appearing.
    I admire women who can love these changes but for me its something i can't love.

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  2. Hello Erica, at MuTu System 'mummy tummies' is what we do!Check out mutusystem.com & just holler if you want any help or advice
    Wendy :)

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  3. Hi Erica

    You are very brave and very beautiful (even if you don't feel it right now!). It's so hard to be a woman in the 21st C and be all the things we're supposed to be, AND look wonderful 24/7.

    I struggle with the same issues as you and I try to overcome them, like you, so I can be a good role model for my daughter.

    Maybe if more women were as brave as you are in this age of airbrushed perfection, to stand up and say this is me we'd all be better off.

    You are definitely not alone!

    Sacha
    x

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  4. I know you hear it all the time but, I have a tummy similar too, I have now figured it isnt going anywhere so I have to accept it. Hugs for you x

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