Ten years ago, on a giggly, hormone-filled first-date, if you had told my husband that a decade down the line I would one day say the following to him... would he have suddenly remembered somewhere he needed to be in a hurry?
1: Can you see the blue crayon Thing-two ate in that nappy? Well look closer! It must be in the poo somewhere.
2: How big are my piles? As big as actual grapes, or just raisins?
3: But WHY won’t you try my breast-milk?
4: I know they don’t look nice, but wearing tights up to my armpits makes me feel slimmer.
5: What do you mean, you don’t want Weetabix for dinner, again?
6: I did warn you that if you kept tickling me, or I would wee on you.
7: No, I do not fancy Mr. Tumble, I just think he’s really funny.
8: I don’t know why I ever wore thongs. These big pants are so much comfier.
9: Daddy will dress up as a princess with you lovey…won’t you daddy?
10: Or... we could just cuddle?